When You Are Tired of
• Verbal Communication Skills
• Problem Solving or Conflict
1. Be Brief
2. Be Specific
3. Describe the Situation
4. Give Information
5. Issue Gentle Reminders
6. Use “When, Then” Instead of “If, Then”
7. Use “I” StatementsThree Components to
Not “You” Statements
1. Describe the problem: “When you leave clothes on the floor…”
2. Describe the tangible effect: “When you leave clothes on the
floor, I can trip over them…”
3. Describe the feeling: “When you leave clothes on the floor,
I can trip over them and I am afraid of falling.”
Another Version of “I” Messages! “I feel
(feeling) when (behavior)(situation or effect).
“I feel upset when you leave your clothes on the floor. It
looks messy and someone can trip on them.”
1. Describe the situation from child’s point of view.
2. Describe your feelings and needs.
3. Restate the problem from both perspectives, and brainstorm
4. Decide on a suggestion you both are willing to follow through
5. Plan together how you will implement the solution.
6. Evaluate whether working or not. Make changes if necessary or