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COMMUNICATING WITH CHILDREN
WHEN YOU ARE
TIRED OF YELLING
COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Three Components
• LISTENING SKILLS
• VERBAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS
• PROBLEM SOLVING or CONFLICT RESOLUTION
TALKING SKILLS
1. Be Brief
2. Be Specific
3. Describe the Situation
4. Give Information
5. Issue Gentle Reminders
6. Use “When, Then” Instead of “If, Then”
7. Use “I” Statements
Not “You” Statements
THREE COMPONENTS TO “I” MESSAGES
1. Describe the problem: “When you leave clothes on the floor…”
2. Describe the tangible effect: “When you leave clothes on the
floor, I can trip over them…”
3. Describe the feeling: “When you leave clothes on the floor,
I can trip over them and I am afraid of falling.”
ANOTHER VERSION OF “I” MESSAGES: “I feel
(feeling) when (behavior)(situation or effect).
“I feel upset when you leave your clothes on the floor. It
looks messy and someone can trip on them.”
PROBLEM SOLVING
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
1. Describe the situation from child’s point of view.
2. Describe your feelings and needs.
3. Restate the problem from both perspectives, and brainstorm
together.
4. Decide on a suggestion you both are willing to follow through
on.
5. Plan together how you will implement the solution.
6. Evaluate whether working or not. Make changes if necessary or
start again.
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